The Secrets Out

      I can finally talk about something very exciting. We are having a baby!!!! It's something that we have been praying and trying for, for 2 years and finally we are here. I am at the moment 20 weeks and we found out we are having a BOY!!!!
      I felt for a while that we were going to have a boy. I would say the baby names out loud and talk to the baby and the girl name just never felt right, but the boy name seemed to just fit. Chapan on the other hand has been calling our little baby he or him since we found out we were pregnant. He wanted a little boy so bad. He wanted a little buddy that he could play with and teach to ride bikes like the Konkright men do. :) So neddles to say when the ultra sound tech. said it was a boy he was on cloud nine.
     It seems very sureal that this is happening. Many people don't know that we have miscarried 2 times before this, so to wrap it around my head that this baby is staying has been a little hard. The first time we got pregnant I was scared. The second time we got pregnant I was so excited, and the third time we got pregnant I was terrified. I was terrified of opening my heart, just to have it ripped away again. So, I kept it quite. I didn't want to tell anyone. One of the hardest things to do after you lose a baby is telling everyone. So I wanted to keep this secret for as long as I could. Which wasn't easy because I show early. By 10 weeks my belly is starting to pooch. I started to cover up as much as I could. We would be doing yard work outside and it would be 70-80 degrees and I'd be wearing a hoodie. My mom and husband tried to convince me to embrass the belly, but I couldn't. I started growing out of my cloths and my husband would tell me to go buy maternity cloths but I would refuse. I couldn't bare the thought of buying cloths just to lose my baby and have to live with them staring at me in my closet. I didn't want to buy anything until I knew that this baby was going to stick around.
     When we finally made it pass the first trimester I was in shock. I'd never made it to this point before and I didn't know what to do. I lived from doctors visit to doctors visit. Hoping that each time we went that his heart beat was still there and it was. Slowly the realization that this baby was going to stick around started to sink in and now I can't believe it we are half way through!
     Chapan has been wonderful through it all. I've been very emotional, mostly in the very begining and he just snuggles me and lets me cry. He told me if I ever had a late night craving for Pizza that he would more than willing get one for me.... only if I shared with him of course :) He loves pizza. I think the best thing is, is when he texts me from work to tell me how big the baby is now or what he's suppose to be doing in that week of pregnancy. So cute! Chapan loves to take me to the baby stores to do research as well. We haven't started buying things yet but we have been to every baby store we can think of to price things out. He has fallen in love with a certain stroller/ car seat combo. :) Good thing we have the same taste. I love him so much. He's going to make a wonderful dad.

This is the first shirt I bought for our baby. It's a 4T but I figured he'd eventually grow into it! I couldn't pass it up. It's a bike shirt!

This is somthing that he will actually fit into when he comes

(front)

(back) So cute!

I can't believe that I actually bought baby cloths! That seems so weird to me. I realize if I wait to much longer that I'll have a baby and no baby stuff. So I guess it's time to start stocking up. Now if we could just find a place to live so we can have everything set up before this little one comes we will be ready to go.